The Carol and Michael Hearons Family Advocacy Program

Carol and Mike's Place

Chapter Thirty-Four

July 15, 2021

Dear Readers,

Some months ago, in Chapter 33 of this caregiver blog, I talked to you about being wonderful.

Well, that was wonderful of me.

But I had no idea what a slog that journey would be!

I have since discovered that doing the right thing around the clock for Robin Jane (a.k.a. “Rawbaw”), my diabetic and somewhat demented kid sister (who will turn 81 on July 19th) is totally impossible.

After all, I, her caregiver, am 83 years old, still mourning the loss of my wife to cancer seven years ago, still coping with unrelenting senior moments, still needing beaucoup naps, and still losing both my physical strength and my mental acuity.

(Growing old is really the pits, isn't it?)

But the bright spot in all of this problem analysis has been a saving realization:

I am not expected to work miracles, but just to do what I can — which is a lot.

I can still medicate Rawbaw correctly, get her to her docs, love her funky dawg, shop for and prepare most meals (the ones not delivered by Dong Po or Glass Nickel Pizza), beat her (more often than not) at Scrabble, deal with the agony of defeat when she beats me at cards(I have a real issue with that), and continue to enable her to live in her own home, which means the world to her.

I can still joke around with her, too, because we go back to World War II in Long Beach, California, and share the same warped sense of humor. Our connection as siblings is as strong as ever.

I can even watch TV with her, unless she is into one of her forensic detective programs. (I also find something else to do when she gets into programs about the morbidly obese [which is not one of her problems] or that “road show” program about getting serious money for family antiques.)

In short, there has been somewhat of a miracle here.

I have come to terms with my limitations, and so has Rawbaw — with my limitations, not hers!

Her dog has been nicer to me lately, too.

I trust that these insights will help you with your own quest to be wonderful.

—Michael E. Hearons


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