The Kairi Toll Angels Program

Kairi started life with a companion, her twin brother Kameron. Like most twins they had a special bond that lasted for an entire lifetime. Kairi started her life and her life ended with her twin, Kameron, holding her hand. They may have fought, squabbled, and teased each other but no two children cared for each other as these two have.

Kairi and Kameron have three brothers from my previous marriage. Their names are Robert, Scott and Matt. Kairi and Kameron also have another brother Joel and a sister Amanda from her mothers’ previous marriages. Kairi always placed her family high on her “Things To Do” list. She kept each one informed on what the others were up to. She never forgot birthdays or special occasions of any of her family members.

Kairi was born with cardiac, circulatory, and hearing disorders. Dr. Copeland at the Tucson University Hospital gave her a 10% chance of survival on her first operation. She did survive thanks to his skilled hands and the blessing from God. You must understand Kairi was the first child to survive her condition. She spent the majority of her first two years of life in the hospital surviving one operation after another. Because of Kairi’s strength to live and Dr. Copeland’s technique, other children born with this disorder now have a high percentage of survival to live a long and healthy normal life.

Kairi had gone through many open chest, heart, circulatory, and auditory operations her entire twenty-five years of life. Dr. Roy Jedeikin was her pediatric circulatory physician for over two decades. Kairi had given him the nickname of “The Boss”. When “The Boss” told her she had to do this or that, believe me she did it! She admired, respected and yes, even held him in awe. The entire Toll family thanks him for keeping our girl healthy.

At age four her mother and I divorced. I always felt lucky to have both of them for the holidays and all summer long. Watching her grow from a child to a young lady was something I will never forget. Well to be honest, there were a few occasions that could have been omitted but I will get to that later.

Kairi was always walking through our home singing some song. When she was young, her favorite song was “Tomorrow” from the movie “Anne”. Of course she could not remember all of the words, so she would sing “Tomorrow, tomorrow, I will love you tomorrow” and start it all over again. She finally got the entire song memorized to the relief of all of us. I’d sing her the song “You are my sunshine”. One of her favorite church songs was “Amazing Grace”. All three of these songs were sung at her memorial.

When they turned thirteen both Kairi and Kameron came to Willcox, Arizona to live full time with me. Who could forget the teenage years. Kairi developed an absolutely fantastic sense of humor along with a smile that would brighten the darkest day. When she felt down, she would walk up to you and say, “I need a hug”. She’d then say, “Thanks, I needed that” and give you a big kiss on the cheek.

She always did her best to help out around the house and to show you that she could be independent. This did lead to some grey hairs on her “Dear Ol’ Dad's’” head. Kairi tried so very hard to be helpful, considerate, upbeat, independent, and God-fearing.

I have two stories I’d like to relate to you, which we use to reminisce about and have a chuckle over. The first is what we called the “toaster caper." She loved waffles for breakfast so, like a good father, I had frozen waffles in the freezer that could be placed in the toaster and heated. One sunny morning Kairi decided she could do this task herself. Big mistake, Kairi took a short cut by buttering the waffle prior to placing it into the toaster. The ensuing smoke, soot, and fire led to a major cleanup of not only the kitchen but the dinning room as well. I have kept that very same waffle (the “charred briquette”). I threatened Kairi that the reason for saving this souvenir was to show her prospective fiancé her cooking skills.

The second mishap happened the next summer. I had just purchased a new, and expensive, vacuum cleaner. Kairi, being helpful, decide she would water the houseplants. She made sure that each plant received its share of water. Soon water was seeping out onto the tile floor. When she called me at work to tell me about the incident she stated, “Don’t worry Dad. I used the new vacuum to clean up ALL the water.” The machine did not live through this mishap.

Kairi had two very close and dear friends growing up in Willcox. Sharon Judd and her family lived next door to us, while Mandi Webb and her family attended the same church as we did. Both of these young ladies influenced Kairi greatly. These three kept in touch and shared good times and hard times together as all true friends do. Kairi would say how “blessed” she was to have these two very important friends in her life. Kairi was a true “child of God.". She had phoned Mandi one day to tell her that she truly had taken the step to give her life over to Christ and was truly a believer in his love and his power. This along with her personality kept Kairi going on the correct track for her entire life. Those who were lucky enough to know Kairi for a short time knew that she was a true Christian.

July 4, 2005 I married Nancy Watson. Nancy and Kairi had made a tight bond and would confide things that Dads just wouldn’t understand. Us men don’t understand many “women things." Like why does it take two or more girls to go to the bathroom together? They don’t all have to go, do they? Kairi called Nancy “Mom” and they became true and endearing mother daughter team throughout the remaining years. With the marriage came another brother Kevin and a sister Tammy. Kevin was born a few days before Robert and Tammy was born a few days after Scott. When asked about her family Kairi would simply state that she had two brothers who were 42, a sister and brother who were 40, another brother 32, and her twin brother who was 25. Then she would give her famous smile, leaving the person who she had told about her siblings wondering how her mother could still be sane after three sets of twins. One last thing I must relate before going on. When moving her belongings from her apartment to our home, one of Kairi’s diaries fell and opened to a page that caught my eye. As I read what Kairi had written tears started flowing one more time. Carol Wright, a close and dear friend of the family, became very close to Kairi. One day Kairi asked Carol if she could call her “Aunt Carol” and was told sure she could. In her diary that day she had written, “now I have a complete family”. “I have a Dad, Mom, Aunts, Sisters and Brothers all to love and who love me.” Kairi herself loved to be called “Aunt Kairi." When her nieces or nephew called her “Aunt” a smile as broad as billboard would come across her face. She truly loved and cherished family.

As a parent you wonder if your values and insight of the world will be passed down to your children. Kairi and I would talk about science of evolution compared to the Bible's version, the trinity, why am I here on this earth, life after death, etc. Thank goodness she discussed the girl stuff with Mom, Tammy, or her best friends, which suited me just fine.

Kairi was one child who would ask questions about various issues. I believe due to her challenges in life, most of our discussions centered on our beliefs. Early in life we spoke about thanking God for the wonderful day that we were blessed to be part of in our bedtime prayers. We would discuss turning your problems over to the Lord in the evening so he could work on the solutions. We then would have a good night's rest to awake to face the world with the answers to those problems. It was a priority to start each day on a positive note, a smile on one's face while supporting a Christian spirit. How an “upbeat” person draws the best out of the people around you while a “gloomy-gus” drives people away. Because of Kairi’s attitude I assumed she had absorbed some of the ideas about which we spoke. I received my answer during the memorial service for her. People came forward describing an upbeat person with a smile upon her face, the willingness to aid anyone in need, and a true child of God. Children put into practice what they see, what is taught, and how you behave.

After graduation from High School, Kairi attend Western New Mexico University in Silver City. Here she completed two years of college making excellent marks. She worked in the Christian Campus Ministry under the tutelage of Gregg Armstrong (her Methodist Minister) and in the Student Affairs office on campus. Kairi met Lou Collobert at the First United Methodist Church in Silver City, and they became true friends. They kept in touch over the years no matter where the other one had moved. Kairi loved calling Lou. She said Lou could always make her smile, get off of her “pity-pot” and point her in the right direction. Kairi said she sometimes just needed a “man's perspective” and would turn to Lou for his thoughts. I guess Dads can’t do everything.

It soon became apparent that Kairi could not take the altitude at Silver City, and she moved to Phoenix, Arizona. After a long and trying time, Kairi was so fortunate in obtaining a job with TriWest. She found her own apartment, located within walking distant of a grocery store, drug store and of course fast food. She had done all of this on her own, and we told her how proud of her we were. She was elated that she was now independent and had accomplished this on her own.

The first part of June of 2012 we found out by pure chance that Kairi had cholangiocarcinoma (bile duct cancer or biliary tract cancer) which had spread to the liver. She had a procedure called chemoembolization on the affected part of the liver. The treatment did not do what everyone was hoping for, and subsequent diagnostic imaging months later showed that the cancer had spread throughout her body. “Kairi’s Angels” came into being and took over for us attending to all of Kairi’s” needs. I do not know what Nancy and I would have done without “Kairi’s Angels."

On January 7, 2013 around 9:30 PM she suffered a massive hemorrhage in the brain. Kairi passed from this life at 11:20 PM, January 8th with Kameron (her twin) holding her left hand and Dad holding her right.